I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
