If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
