talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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