I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
