hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
