she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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