You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
