I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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