last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
