I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
