3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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