she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
