you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
