I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
