she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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