so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
