If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
