He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize