You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
