We're facebook friends in real life
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
