Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
