so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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