You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
