I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
