Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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