I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
