I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have post one night stand depression
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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