I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
