You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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