Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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