# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
