just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize