Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
