Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
