yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm going to jail i love you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Randomize
