How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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