Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
