wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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