Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
