The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
