Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
