just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
