She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My dick has a subreddit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
