I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
