He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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