so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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