I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
