You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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