I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize