worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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