conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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