No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
