they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
