living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
