A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
