Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
