wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
