Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
