idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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