So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
