you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
