Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
